DECEMBER05

She Hate Me (2004) ***1/2

Directed by: Spike Lee

Written by: Michael Genet

Staring: Anthony Mackie, Kerry Washington, Ellen Barkin, Monica Bellucci, Jim Brown, Ossie Davis, Jamel Debbouze, Brian Dennehy, Woody Harrelson, Ling Bai, Lonette Mckee, Paula Jai Parker, Q-Tip, Dania Ramirez, John Turturro, Sarita Choudhury.

Are you ready? Here’s the recipe for Spike Lee’s latest creation. In an oven safe pan place 2 cups of Enron-type scandal, one-cup new Italian mafia, a pinch of fertilization made-to-order and just a dash of money. Bake for two hours and eighteen minutes at 350 degrees, and then let it sit for half an hour. Your end result will be a delightful dish bursting with morality, sex, ethics, race, politics and humor.

This is probably my favorite Spike Lee movie; He Got Game (1998) comes in at a close second. The only thing that I find disappointing is that most critics disliked this movie. But they’re not always right (Elizabethtown comes to mind). Our story follows a Harvard-educated biotech executive John Henry Jack Armstrong (Anthony Mackie), the only person that had the courage to be a righteous soul in a not so righteous company. By choosing to become a whistle-blower he loses his job and becomes the fall guy in a Securities & Exchange Commission investigation. After having all of his assets frozen by the government and unable to find work in the city, Jack is forced to take an offer to impregnate his former girlfriend Fatima (Kerry Washington), now a lesbian, and her lover Alex (Dania Ramirez) for five thousand dollars each.

Once he goes through with it, Fatima sees the perfect opportunity to make a whole lot of money. The next day she shows up at his door with a group of lesbians willing to pay $10,000 each to have Jack impregnate them. From this point on things get really complicated for Jack: he must prove his innocence to the Securities & Exchange Commission, fight off rumors of his involvement with the Italian mafia (one of the lesbians he impregnates is the daughter of a mafia boss), all the while dealing with the moral consequences that come along with his new line of work.

What will happen to our hero? You’re going to have to rent it to find out. This is Spike Lee at his best, bringing to the audience a story right out of today’s headlines and showing all of us that the most important thing we have is love. In the words of Don Angelo Bonasera (John Turturro), “Sometimes we have to do what we know is wrong in our hearts in order to make it right in our lives.” I hope you enjoy the film as much as I did, even if it was 4:00 in the fucking morning. Why does HBO always have to show the best shit after 1:00AM…Bastards.

- Juan Marcos Percy, Importer/Exporter

NOVEMBER05

SERENITY (2005)


SERENITY: THE UNTOLD STORY (2005)

Written and Directed by: Joss Whedon

Starring: Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Alan Tudyk, Morena Baccarin, Adam Baldwin, Jewel Staite, Sean Maher, Summer Glau, Ron Glass, Chiwetel Ejiofor, David Krumholtz,

After a long night of hard work, well, let's just call it a night of self-imposed penance playing Halo 2 on heroic mode, I finally brought myself to write this short but splenda review of the much needed saviors of sci-fi, “Serenity.” “Serenity” is the latest project by Joss Whedon, or should I say, the man behind your favorite vampire slaying series “Buffy,” and “Angel,” featuring my fiancees favorite vampire hottie David Boreanaz (Whedon also wrote “Alien 4” and “Toy Story.”)

I know that I'm supposed to be reviewing “Serenity” but it's a little hard to review the movie without talking about its origins. About two or three months ago I stumbled upon the series “Firefly,” best described as a new take on an old formula i.e. Space + Great Writing = Sweet Sci-Fi Utopia. After fast-forwarding through the horrible theme song (Sorry Joss and Lily) you will find a wonderful surprise: a sci-fi show filled with witty humor, outer-space action, sexy mechanic fantasies and gun slinging heroes. If this doesn't make you want to run to your computer and Netflix the show then you'd better check your pulse.

This brings us to “Serenity,” the name given to our vehicle of adventure in honor of one of the biggest massacres in a war for independence from the Alliance. Our story begins just after one of Serenity's mysterious passengers, River (Summer Glau), is ready to reveal to us a world of torture, violence and government secrets, compliments of the Alliance. Our fearless crew takes us on a journey into a hidden world that will change the course of the war. On the run from the Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a perfect killer that will destroy everything in his path to keep River from revealing her secrets, the Serenity crew must face their biggest fears and make the ultimate sacrifice in a desperate battle against a hellish nightmare created by the Reavers.

Taking place months, or possibly years, after we last left the crew in “Firefly,” we discover how old bonds still hold strong and true, that love remains strong even galaxies far, far away and that hope begins with just a little bit of faith. Combining great battle scenes, explosive special effects, non-stop adventure and a superbly written script, “Serenity” takes viewers into the world of Mal, Zoe, Wash, Inara, Jayne, Kaylee, Simon, River, and Shepherd and marks an end to a chapter in “Firefly” but also marks a new beginning with 'Serenity.'

A must see on everybody's list, (sci-fi lover or not); here's your chance to see just how good a sci-fi film can really be. Eat your heart out, George Lucas.

- Juan Marcos Percy, Importer/Exporter

NOVEMBER05

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Written and Directed by: George Lucas

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits, Frank Oz, Anthony Daniels, Christopher Lee

Well, after careful consideration, I have decided to erase the first two Star Wars films, The Phantom Menace (1999) and Attack of the Clones (2002), from my memory and pretend instead that Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (2005) is where it all began. Let’s just say that the first two attempts were just a spin-off, kind of like the Ewok movie Ewoks (1985).

Unfortunately, one thing still applies to all three episodes: in order to be satisfied with the new trilogy one has to return to a much simpler time (I think regressing to an 8 year old should do) when dialogue and story did not matter nearly as much as the amount of explosions and vivid scenery a director could pack in 2 hours. And yet, as crazy as it may sound, I enjoyed Revenge of the Sith.

Be prepared to feel somewhat confused however since Lucas has spread this ‘new’ story thin with very little plot (sound familiar?) but the special effects and the good old fashion romanticism of the original Star Wars kicks in an hour into the movie making it all worth while. Now that we have established the new sequence of episodes (i.e. forget episodes one and two), we can proceed to the conclusion of the Lucas saga. I will try not to reveal too many of its obvious secrets.

In the words of Yoda, ‘the story a fan I am of’:  In the midst of a rescue mission to save the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine from the Separatist droid armies, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) are once again thrown together in a war of fates that is inevitable. After easily defeating Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), the Jedi warriors return home as heroes. But fear, hatred, jealousy and power are growing inside of Anakin and his recurring visions of his secret wife, Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman), dying in childbirth are driving him to do ‘whatever it takes’ to save her.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan Kenobi has been sent by the Jedi council to find and kill General Grievous on Utapau, thus ending the war against the separatist droid armies. Anakin is left on the capital planet of Coruscant to face the Dark side and choose once and for all the path that will turn him into Lord Darth Vader. The lines are finally drawn and we see the beginning of the end for the Jedi warriors. From this point on everything goes sour for everyone. The dark Sith Lord sets into motion the destruction of the Jedi Council, Anakin falls for the Dark Side, Obi-Wan defeats General Grievous but is confronted with the new fate of the Jedi. The stage is set for the final decisive battle between master and apprentice.

Who will win? Who will go home a bit charred, missing their lower torso? Oh, the tension!

On a happier note, Luke and Leia Skywalker are born. Unfortunately, their mother dies and they are separated at birth to be raised by different families on different worlds. But hey, that’s the gloomy world of the Republic for you.

Despite what you’ve read or heard, you should definitely check out Revenge of the Sith. It’s not quite up to par with the next three episodes but it sure beats the last two. So here’s to the force…

Juan Marcos Percy - Importer/Exporter